Healing From the Outside In or Inside Out?

So often I read literature on how to manage emotions, yet I wonder what our would would look like
if we really dissected emotions and attempted to identify the experience/s those emotion/s
Imagine if humans took the time to understand the meaning behind emotions we often verbalize and
even display non-verbally. What would it be like to take a look at a feelings/emotions/sensations
wheel, randomly pick a spot (have fun with this and play “Pin the Tale on the Wheel”), look up said emotion/s in a dictionary, and really attempt to precisely identify not just logically, but emotionally, recalling on our experiences with said emotion/s.
………This could open a whole new world. Yes, I get this may not sound like the most appealing thing
to do on a Friday night, or may even seem silly. Hear me out……
How can we truly, effectively manage something intangible and difficult to quantify when the mass
population struggles with emotional granularity? What is this you might ask? This is our ability to
accurately recognize and label emotions in the midst of experiencing them. Language shows us that
naming an experience doesn’t give the experience more power, it gives us the power of
understanding (Brene Brown). And that, my friends, unlocks massive mental doors that help us to
surprisingly find freedom, hope, and joy. Our thoughts and feelings are so closely related, it’s
inevitable this combination impacts our responses, how we show up to a situation and our emotion/s.
With that said, I can see why it’s so hard to manage something we struggle naming and why
understanding emotions and how they all work is so important. We cannot tame what we cannot name
(Daniel Siegel). Understanding ourselves, our emotions, along with being allowed to feel them AND
express them in a healthy manner IS positively impacting how we show up and respond to those
around us.
Social Emotional Health is so vital, especially now more than ever with attempting to rebound from
March of 2020. Our ability to understand and manage our emotions and to form social connections
and relationship with the world around us IS hard. AND it is vital to us as humans. Our social goal is
to be connected. Instead of stuffing emotions and/or thoughts that make us or others
uncomfortable ……What would it be like to heal from the inside out? What would it be like to find a
safe place/person to first feel connected with (i.e., find a therapist) in order to feel seen, heard,
and not judged so you can find some healing. YES, this IS the hardest part, AND scariest, YET can
be the most rewarding part of all.
If you’re not connected, reach out…. no matter the season in life, as humans we are better
Natalie Decker, MS, LMHC
Clinical Director

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