Gaslighting: The Hidden Truth

Gaslighting is defined as “a form of psychological abuse where a person or group makes someone question their sanity, perception of reality, or memories. People experiencing gaslighting often feel confused, anxious, and unable to trust themselves (medicalnewstoday.com).”

If you feel that you are possibly getting gaslighted Dr.Stephanie A. Sarkis has shared 11 warning signs of gaslighting. The goal of this blog post is to inform and educate so you can be aware of the tell-tell signs of gaslighting.

1. They tell blatant lies
   1. This is used to set a precedent, once a singular major lie is told you no longer feel as if you can trust the person, this is used to keep you in a confused state of mind.
2. They deny they ever said something, even though you have proof
   1. Once again this tactic is used to keep you in a confused state of mind. This forces you to question your own reality. 
3. They use what is dear to you as ammunition
   1. This could be friends, family, or even an attack on character. They will take what is important to you and distort this in any way possible.
4. They wear you down over time
   1. Gaslighting is a long game. This is not something that happens as a one-off action, this can happen in a span of months or even years. It starts off slowly then slowly builds this way you may never actually realize what is happening.
5. Their actions do not match their words
   1. Here you want to focus more on actions, not words. Often those who gaslight will not match what they say with how they act.
6. They throw in positive reinforcements to confuse you
   1. This is similar to number five. Don’t be fooled by positive words given by those who gaslight, they are sure to be short-lived and only to cause more confusion.
7. They know confusion weakens people
   1. Humans crave a sense of stability because of this gaslighters just as much as everyone else knows that confusion weakens. Because those who are being gaslighted often feed into the one doing the gaslighting they believe this false reality.
8. They Project
   1. A gaslighter will often accuse the person they are gaslighting of actions that obviously have not been committed. This is done as a projection of their own actions at times.
9. They try to align people against you
   1. Gaslighters will find people who will stand by them to prove that their own point is right over yours. This can be friends, family, or anyone else who will side with them.
10. They tell you or others that you are crazy
    1. This is yet another way gaslighters will try to cause confusion and distant loved ones from you. This may also cause others to question your own credibility.
11. They tell you everyone else is a liar
    1. This is used to force you to question your reality. This causes you to question your interpersonal systems and rely even more on the one gaslighting.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-warning-signs-gaslighting

-Elana Gabriel